Cooking meals, traveling with (or to) family, shopping and gift-giving, office parties, decorating your home, navigating work, school and family obligations…no wonder the holidays are exhausting! Beyond the challenges and stresses of all of the doing, the holidays can often feel like an emotional version of a fruitcake: a bunch of different stuff baked into something that you either love or hate and have no idea what to do with. Paying attention to and supporting your emotional health and wellbeing is important all year long but can be especially difficult during the holidays. I’m here to tell you: it’s okay to be sad during the holidays.
Many people feel pressure to “put on a happy face” during the holidays because it’s what we think we’re supposed to do. With wall-to-wall Christmas everywhere, it’s easy fall into a trap of thinking that you’re the only one who’s sad, blue, or just not in the spirit. Whether you’ve recently lost a loved one, ended a relationship or struggle with financial pressures, sadness can tell us that we’re missing or need something that is not there. Focus on the why and not the what that you’re feeling reach out for help and support if these emotions get in the way of your day-to-day living.
Similar to my earlier post about dealing with difficult family members, it’s about understanding why you are feeling a certain way. “But getting dumped and being alone and broke at Christmas sucks, that’s why!” you might say. Why is being in a relationship important to you? Why is being alone during the holidays difficult for you? Why is being broke in December different than, say, in March?
By focusing on your needs rather than how much of an asshole your ex is for dumping you at Thanksgiving (which, to be fair is pretty high on the Asshole Registry), you might discover that you want a partner who shares your passion for rescue kittens and that the way you were taught to express gratitude and love was through giving and receiving presents. You might discover that you’ve been willing to accept emotional disconnection with others because on the surface it looks better than being single and going into debit to buy presents is far less painful than examining your relationship to true gratitude and belonging.
Go ahead and put on that sad Christmas album, scarf down a few gingerbread men and have a good cry. When you’re done, ask yourself, “What are these emotions telling me and why are they important?” So, if on January 5th you’re still feeling stuck and downing cookies over a long cry, reach out for help. Otherwise, it’s time to take down the tree and get back to the gym.
Want another perspective? Check out this article from PsychCentral.
My thoughts and reactions to the world in which we live...completely biased and unfiltered.